Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
