you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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