i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
