Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize