dude i'm inner monologue high
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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