she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
