All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
