my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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