winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
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Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
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Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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