Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
