u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Don't make out with my wife yet
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
