bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
