I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
