I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
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