please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize