Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
