How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just cut my nipple shaving
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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