there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
