We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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