we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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