I just saw a hot homeless man
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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