Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
