Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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