angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
