Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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