Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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