I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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