wat bout pragnant strippers??
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
