drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
