Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
