All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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