Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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