I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
