had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
