And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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