Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
