The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I have post one night stand depression
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