Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
