A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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