i think my mom watched the whole time
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
