There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
are you so shy because you have an std?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
