i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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