Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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