and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
