We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
