Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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