I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
