So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.