They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me