Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
