how can u be prego again
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
