dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
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my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
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They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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