I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
they're like a gay fantastic four
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
