Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
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you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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