just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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