how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'