Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.