I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over