I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
is this the sara with the beer cane?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?