and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"