My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.