Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me