Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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