Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
