Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We are two peas in an std pod
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
