I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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