So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
